When You Feel Left Out

Lonely. Left out. Uninvited.

These are words probably all of us have felt at one time or another, maybe more than what we feel is our fair share. Maybe you are feeling it right now.

You scroll through social media and see where YOUR friends have gotten together…but you weren’t invited. You hear friends at church, school, or work making plans or talking about something they did together, and once again, you were left out. It is completely possible to be in a room full of people, but loneliness overwhelms your being.

I’ve been there; it seems like more times than not. It hurts. You wonder why you weren’t invited. You question why so many people don’t seem to see you sitting there internally craving interaction.

Sure, some of the reasons we are experiencing this could be our fault (we said “no” to invites too many times, we have been rude, etc), but sometimes people get caught up with their friend group (aka, clique), and you aren’t a part of it. These friend groups can be based on the ages of their kids, the stage of life they are in, or their financial situation in their phase of life.

Your loneliness may be because of lack of family, divorce, or the loss of a spouse or loved one. Whatever the circumstances, you think there really is no one who understands. You are alone.

We are NOT alone.

Jesus understands our feelings (Hebrews 4:15). God the Father forsook Jesus at His darkest moment in life (Matthew 27:46). At the Cross, Jesus destroyed loneliness. No one is uninvited when it comes to Him; He invites everyone (Romans 10:13). He made it so if you accept His free gift, then you can always have His presence.

In fact, He promised the presence of the Trinity to believers: God the Father (Deuteronomy 31:6), Jesus (Matthew 28:20), and the Holy Spirit (John 14:16-17). They are faithful, true, and give us the power needed to face whatever trial in life.

God IS enough.

Sometimes we can believe the lie of the devil and think God is not enough. We begin to think we really do need to be a part of that group or we really do need a boyfriend or whatever the case. We think no one understands the overwhelming need for companionship deep in our hearts. God does understand, and He is enough.

He gives the love we need and want. He gives the comfort we need and want. He has the answers to our questions. He has the light to shine in on our darkness. He is ready to fill up our emptiness. We just have to go to Him.

“The more fully we invite God in, the less we will feel uninvited by others.”

Lysa TerKeurst

Our joy and peace in life is not anchored in others. It is anchored in Jesus. When we take our eyes off of Him, then fleshly emotions such as jealousy, anger, and self-pity will take over.

Here’s the thing we must remember. As much as we may depend on people to fill our lives, there’s only One Who can truly fill those longings in life – joy, love, contentment. Even though God gave me my wonderful husband who I love so much, God did not create Wade to make me happy in life. Only the Lord can fulfill all the needs in my life.

The devil wants us to dwell on the loneliness, the empty dates on our calendar, the feeling of being left out, because then we are distracted. We are wasting that time on earthly thinking and not heavenly consideration. Energy is lost that could be spent in prayer, in worship, in meditation, or in God’s Word. The moment we turn to God, we are no longer lonely. We are NOT alone. He is right there ready, waiting (Isaiah 41:10).

While the need to belong is strong, as believers we are children of our Heavenly Father who loves us more than we could ever love or be loved by another (Luke 11:13). And remember those who may be feeling alone, left out, and uninvited. An image I saw recently on Facebook said, “Sometimes the greatest gift you can gift another person is to simply include them.”

Be the includer. Encourage them. Love others. 💕